Sending a note in time of grief.

It’s often helpful to send a friend or acquaintance a card to recognize their grief. You can buy an expensive sympathy card, but sometimes you can send a simple note acknowledging that you know of their loss.

You don’t have to fill the whole space, just like you wouldn’t fill the room with noise. This is not the time for an essay.  Simple words and white space are often exactly right.  

Here are some suggestions if you choose that route.

1. Put the date in the upper left corner

2. Start the card with their name – “Jim” 

3. Acknowledge the loss: “I’m sorry to hear about your mom.”

4. Acknowledge the meaning: “I know how much she meant to you.”

5. Identify your action: “I will keep asking God to make you aware of His peace and presence.”

6. Sign it with your name – “Jon”

If appropriate, you can add these things:

1. Acknowledge how much the person valued them: “She always told me you were so helpful to her.”

2. Identify shared experience: “I remember the time the three of us spent together.”

3. If appropriate, you can say that you are giving a memorial gift, or that you will be over to shovel at the first snowfall, or that you will have a bag of groceries on the front step.

4. Don’t insert your loss in a comparative way. “I remember when my mom died,” unless it is to say, “I remember when my mom died, you and your mom were so helpful. You taught me well. I will be helping you, too.”

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